How to Get a Boyfriend: The Literary Way

Are you an NBSB [No Boyfriend Since Birth]?

Have you had a boyfriend but you guys broke up and now you might need a good [and brand new] one?

Do you want to be emotionally attached to someone of the opposite sex?

Well, maybe this one’s for you.

These tips are not my own [but I have inserted some input]. Our very lovely professor in Philippine Literature, whose name I just choose to withhold, with his sheer brilliance in the study of literature, has provided us with these tips that are really essential in this very competitive world of life and love.

Disclaimer: I’ve never [ever] even had a boyfriend too. So maybe this can work for me as well, if given the chance.

Tips to Get a Boyfriend: The Literary Way

1. When he asks you out, ACCEPT IT.

But do PRETEND 101- act like you are dumb/have lower IQ/ less brighter than he is.

Why?

> Because guys like to feel brighter/smarter/have a higher IQ than you.

>Because BOYS ARE OFTEN INTIMIDATED BY SMART GIRLS.

> “Ang feeling ng lalaki, dapat mas intelligent siya kaysa sa’yo. Eh ang totoo do’n, mas bright ka.”

2. When you have done the first step [successfully], and when he is about to be into you, YOU MUST:

>FLIRT WITH ELOQUENCE IN LANGUAGE. Why?

-Conversations (especially the smart, real and intimate ones) tend to be really sexy.

– “The art of seduction does not involve showing off your private parts. Itago mo, leave something to the imagination.”

– FAMILIARITY WITH LANGUAGE. Use your SMART MOUTH. Language is key! Expand your vocabulary; Use the right words at the right time. Never be left in a situation in which you are groping for words. Doing all these will make him very much at ease.

– “The art of seduction begins and ends with the art of language.”

-Get it from the method of The Little Prince. He tamed the wild fox and grew fond of each other eventually.

> Use/ channel your little devilish nature which is charm. Dapat mayroon kang pagkamaldita.

3. YOU HAVE TO BE HIS HABIT. [Like Video Games/Porn/Food or something]

-Be someone who completes him (as a whole) or someone who completes his day

-He shouldn’t be able to live without you [not literally, though]

-Obliges himself constantly to communicate with you.

4. Lay down the TRAP [secretly, in the process]

> When you are his “HABIT”, and you know he’s trapped and all caught up in your spell, SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS.

CONCLUSION: He won’t be able to let go.

Extra tips:

> Beauty isn’t a necessity.

> All these tips work very well with charm [and it is deceiving].

Well, these are pretty much everything that it is. If you want to get a grip on these tips more, try reading “Dead Stars” by Paz Marquez Benitez. A special character there is the embodiment of these tips [as what my professor said].

I hope this will help you all just as how it will help me or just as how it helped that character in the story.

‘Til the next post!

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Author: marlapapas

The girl your mother warned you about.

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