Opinions, Personals

Worth the Weight

Hi. 

So I have not posted a personal chronicle recently, and I thought of the need to prompt myself to talk about something way too close to my heart. In case you’re wondering, this post is titled “Worth the Weight” because I realized that I should love myself for my weight, my size and my external attributes, even though often times I am let down by it.

To start off with, have you ever felt that:

– When you enter a clothing store and you feel bad because nothing will fit to you and your body type.

-When you wear something out of your normal outfit, (say for me, when I wear sleeveless blouses) you tend to really feel fat and ugly and miserable or simply crappy about yourself.

-When you see people eyeing you for being your size.

-When people compare you to a pig or any other gargantuan organism that exists here on Earth.

-You continually promise yourself to follow a fitness regimen and after a jog or one aero session, you just quit and get it over with.

-And many other factors that I am too lazy to enumerate [or I just ran out of ideas]

If in all these factors, your reactions were: “I get that a lot!”, “Omg!”, “I can so relate to this!”, “H*ly Sh*t! I get that all the time!” and many other reactions, well, I tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Just this afternoon I received a gift from my cousin, a chambray shirt [that I was yearning for almost months now]. I got so ecstatic when I opened the package, and when I decided to put it on, I immediately felt down, like “depressed” kind of down, because it didn’t fit me. I looked like a rice cake [tightly] wrapped in banana leaves. The shirt was great, there’s no doubt about it, but I figured out that something was wrong, and I thought that the wrong thing was me. Me as a [fat] person, me as to having a big frame, me as to being too fat for my age.

Instances like these prompt me to really feel bad, both physically and emotionally, and my brain sends signals that prevent me to feel completely confident and carefree.

The image of beauty has been warped by many factors brought about by time, the media (I shall talk about this when we’ve discussed this on Comm Theory class), technology and the total advancements that humanity has achieved. If I’m not mistaken, in the medieval ages, fat women were considered the beautiful women (go figure!) but as the centuries go by, royals and colonial masters have come and go, and people’s outlook as to what was beautiful drastically changed. This makes me sad and disappointed as to how society molded itself.

Even the supreme matter of the heart, which is LOVE, has been associated to cling towards a keen consideration as to the size of your partner, as to whether you two look proportional with each other, if you two, when seen together, won’t look like the number 10, and all other sorts of things you should consider in order to look pleasing to the general (or can I say generally judgmental) public.

Now, given the advantages freedom of speech has to offer, I stand up against feeling bad about my weight, about my body type, and about every single physical attribute that society deems as “ugly”. What can I do if this is what the heavens [as of the moment] has blessed me with? What can I do if my taste buds are really wild and they want to ingest everything along their path? What can I do if [insert various circumstances that can affect your physicality here]? See, we are partially defenseless, but we are not left without a choice.

As President Obama said: “Yes We Can!” do the following:

-Exercise in any way we can, as long as we sweat and burn some calories on a regular basis.

-Eat right, or if you can’t chew greens and other lame and boring models’ food, you can choose to reduce your daily calorie intake by downgrading fast food and cholesterol-rich food intake.

-I found this at somewhere associated with Tyra Banks (so it’s either on TV or from the net), that you can look at what you think is the best part of your body and lovingly look at it. Yes, it can be time-consuming, I know, but at least you’ll feel really great about yourself. Just don’t overdo it, because there is a fine line between loving yourself and being vain.

– If someone tells you, or wants to convey to you that they will like or love you when you are slimmer or when you change this or that, leave them, or prove them wrong (it’s up to you), because they are the kinds of people who are narrow-minded and heartless (if you want to put it that way). #hugot

-Refrain from stepping on the weighing scale and measuring your vital stats with a measuring tape. They are some of society’s tools to let you down. But if you’re doing a fitness regimen, then they can help you with your immediate gratification issues.

-Buy a “lying mirror” wherein it tones down your size and you feel beautiful whenever you stare at it. (We have to be Snow White’s evil mother some times.)

And lastly,

– YOU ARE YOUR BODY’S CAPTAIN. Enhance what you think is the best thing about you, physical or not. Be able to do some changes, if you deem them necessary. Protect your body, de-stress from this crazy biosphere we are all in and LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.

Well, I am no Oprah, Tyra or Dr. Phil, but I tell you this because I am speaking from experience. I am actually feeling down recently, and this is one way I found in which I can “empower myself” and hopefully, you might as well do so, too.

Here is my evolution: (Haven’t I told you that I was a Pokemon?)

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(Me, circa 1999)

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(Me, circa 2002-2003)

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(Me, circa 2005 and it’s framed lol)

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(Me, circa 2010)

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(Me, circa 2011)

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(Look at me now lol!!)

Later on in my life, I have found out that I can’t do anything to drastically reduce my weight. Instead, what I did was I found out methods to partially hide my real frame and feel confident at least every once in a while.

And a plot twist! My cousin, who sent me a chambray shirt just this afternoon, came to my house and bought me a bigger one.

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[New chambray asdfghjkl I can’t contain my happiness, so I took a selfie!]

So if you’re down or if you’re feeling like you’re a bunch of crap (I get that a lot!), always remember, “the only permanent thing in this world is change.” ‘Til the next post! xx

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